Top 5 All Time: Breakfast Cereals
This list has been a long time coming. Like... 36 years in the works. When it comes to breakfast, I'm a child at heart. Despite being in the marketing industry for about 15 years, when it comes to the cereal game, I'm a sucker for new flavors, cheap gimmicks, and ambitious collabs. I can't help any of this... it's just how I'm wired.
With all of this in mind, you would think this list would be extremely difficult for me to make. But it really wasn't. Sure, deciding on #5 was the hard, but the top 4 are all firmly in their places as the top tier of my favorite cereals ever. I am constantly trying new products to see if any can overthrow this prestigious group, however thus far, all have fallen short. It's a grueling job, but somebody's got to do it.
Feel free to disagree with the below list; just be aware that I probably know more than you, and you're wrong.
5) Cap'n Crunch (Quaker Oats)
A true OG in the cereal game, Cap'n Crunch has been consistent since its release in 1963. While researching when it came out, I also learned that the inspiration for it came from brown sugar and butter served over rice. Never even thought of trying that before, but if it tastes anything like the cereal, it's worth a shot. I listed the original version here, but some of the offshoot flavors (of which there have been many) are very quality in their own right. Some of my favorites include Christmas Crunch, Oops, All Berries, and Halloween Crunch. Oh, and if you complain that the Cap'n hurts the roof of your mouth, your family's bloodline is weak and deserves to be evolved out of the gene pool.
4) Frosted Flakes (Kellogg's)
Another tried and true classic, original Frosted Flakes are a staple in my house. Out of all the cereals on the list (and the market for that matter), Frosted Flakes makes the milk taste the best afterwards. On this there can be no debate. Frosted Flakes is also the oldest cereal on the list; these sugar-coated corn flakes were introduced in 1952. That's right, Tony the Tiger is officially older than both of my parents. He looks good for his age. Actually scratch that... he looks GR-R-REAT!
3) Apple Cinnamon Cheerios (General Mills)
Regular Cheerios would be the oldest by far on this list, dating back to 1941 (someone invented "CheeriOats" smack in the middle of WW2 lol), but the superior Apple Cinnamon variant was not released until 1988. My general rule of thumb is add cinnamon to anything and it will be an improvement, but Apple Cinnamon Cheerios is far and away my favorite flavor of the many Cheerios offshoots. Surprisingly, the only one I haven't tried yet is Coconut Cheerios, but I'm willing to bet my reputation that it won't overtake old faithful.
2) Marshmallow Froot Loops (Kellogg's)
While we know that Toucan Sam is the same age as Cap'n Crunch, there is not much info out there on when marshmallows got involved. I am pretty positive it was sometime in the mid to late 90s. While I find the regular cereal to be largely forgettable, the addition of marshmallows for some reason catapults it to one of the best cereals ever.
Froot Loops also deserve credit for being the GOAT in the cereal-box-game game. They always had the best puzzles, games and activities on the back of the box to entertain you while scarfing down their colored tori. Speaking of the loops themselves... they all tasted the same. I don't buy for one second that different colors had different flavors. Search your feelings; you know it to be true.
1) Rice Krispies Treats Cereal (OLD recipe) (Kellogg's)
Here's a quick history lesson so you learn something instead of just wasting time reading this list: Rice Krispies predate THE GREAT DEPRESSION. I shit you not. Kellogg's released the original product in 1928; a full year before the Black Tuesday stock market crash. Eleven years later (1939), someone at Kellogg's came up with the genius idea to add melted marshmallow to the cereal, and Rice Krispies Treats were invented. To them, we owe a debt of gratitude as a society. It took the company 54 years to put two and two together, but finally, in March of 1993 (when I was 8 years old), Rice Krispies Treats cereal finally made its appearance. That original recipe had clusters of Rice Krispies held together by marshmallows, and it was cereal perfection.
I don't wanna get off on a rant here, but the decision by Kellogg's to change the recipe of RKTC to just "Rice Krispies with Marshmallows" will go down as the worst decision in the history of cereal; and that includes the fact that Sour Patch Kids cereal exists. You had a flawless product, and you ruined it. What they are offering is NOT Rice Krispies Treats. I can't wrap my head around it. There is no way the team at the company or a focus group tried this new iteration/abomination and thought "Yes this is much better than the previous recipe." I have to assume it was strictly a profit-driven decision, which will almost assuredly backfire because I will never buy another box again. It's a damn shame because three of the five listed here are Kellogg's products. We expect better. A pox on your houses, Kellogg's, until this is rectified.
